10.  No matter what your Mama says, the odds are slim that you will ever work for the National Geographic.

9.  It's a given that you will shoot the last frame on the roll at the exact moment the photo opportunity of a lifetime presents itself.

8.  Taking your spouse on a photo shoot will not strengthen your marriage.

7.  No matter when you buy a camera, it will become obsolete before the credit card bill arrives.

6.  When someone asks if you could "take a few snapshots" at their wedding, your correct reply is "I'm sorry, have we met?"

5.  Any money spent on photo equipment will be equaled and most likely exceeded by your wife on her next trip to the mall.

4.  The expression "slippery slope" was coined for first time camera buyers.

3.  You have every right to expect that a new lens will make you a better photographer. But remember, it's only a theory.

2.  Your film budget must not exceed the family entertainment budget. No need for reminders, you will be informed when this happens.

And the number one lesson I learned with my first camera:

1.  Women will not pose in the nude for you no matter how convincing your story that you are the chief photographer for Playboy.

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