First, the Lie: this article isn't about sex. That was just to get your attention. On second thought, there may be a connection. You be the judge.

Here's the scene: It's Friday evening, 6:00 p.m. Nature Photographer readies his equipment for a morning shoot. He checks his film supply, throws some spare batteries in the camera bag and is busily cleaning his lenses when he hears, "Where do you think you're going? Did you forget you're taking me to that antique store in the morning?"

N.P.: "Well, uh, Honeybunch, I saw this great field of wildflowers on the way home today, and thought I better get out there first thing in the morning and shoot some film while they're still in bloom.

Wife: "Flowers huh? I like flowers. Maybe I'll just go with you."

N.P.: "Gee, I'd love for you to go along, but I'll have to get up pretty early. You know how the wind starts blowing around here, and I'd like to catch some dew on the petals before it warms up."

Wife: "Not a problem, I'll just set the alarm, hop out of bed, and we'll go."

Next Day. 6:30 a.m.
BUZZZZZZ! WHAP! (Sound of Nature Photographer's wife shutting off alarm).

7:45 a.m.
N.P.: "Oh my gosh. What time is it? Honey, we got to go."

Wife: "Not without coffee we don't. And I'll need just a little time in the bathroom."

9:00 a.m. On the road.

Wife: "Pull into that McDonalds, I'm kind of hungry.
"But Dear..."
"I SAID I'm hungry!" "Just order me an egg biscuit while I go to the bathroom and then we'll be on our way. Won't take but a minute."

N.P. gets in line with approximately 200 little blue-haired ladies recently disgorged from tour bus.

10:00 a.m.
Wife: "See there, that didn't take so long. Wait, they didn't put sausage on my biscuit."

N.P.: "You didn't order sausage with your biscuit."

Wife: "But you know I always get sausage with my egg biscuit" Wife continues to grumble but eats biscuit. "I'm still kind of hungry."

N.P.: "You should have ordered sausage with your biscuit."

10:30 a.m. Arrive at wildflower field. Wind: Southwest at 25 M.P.H. Temperature: 85 degrees and climbing. Humidity: 90%.

N.P. stomps through flowers, wife picks a few. But suddenly, up ahead, a ravine with a large boulder blocking the wind. Behind it, oh joy, an undisturbed flower with, thank you Lord, a magnificent pair of sulfur butterflies. Ever so carefully, N.P. readies his equipment. He stalks closer and closer. Almost within full frame range now, when...

Wife: "AIEEEEEE!!!! There's something crawling on my neck."

N.P.: (with a quick glance). "It's just a small tick Dear. I'll be with you in a minute."

Wife: "Get if off! Get if off! Get it off!"

Wife runs in frantic circles, stomping flower, causing cardiac arrest in butterfly.

Evening, same day: N.P. drains his third beer.

Wife: "You know that wasn't so bad today. It was actually kind of fun. As a matter of fact, I'm thinking of buying my own camera gear so I can go with you more often." She winks. "Time for bed."

Editor's Comment: Let us know what you think! Please email the Editor to let us know your thoughts.

Warren Williams has been doing photography for over 25 years focusing mainly on Nature and wildlife. His work has been published in several magazines, including Outdoor Photographer, Outdoor Oklahoma, Oklahoma Today, and Persimmon Hill (the magazine of the Cowboy Hall of Fame). Several of his photos have also appeared on calendars by Smith-Southwestern. Warren is an active member on Photo Migrations and would also invite you to visit his website located at: Warren Williams Photography - Images of Wildlife and Nature.