Everyone that likes to photograph birds, raise your hand. Quite a few I see. Now, how many have backyard bird feeders to lure those birds in for photos? Nearly all. Out of that number, how many have problems with squirrels? YES, I KNEW IT, EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU! You've tried squirrel guards haven't you? You've strung your feeders between trees haven't you? I'll bet you've even coated the feeder pole with some sort of slippery substance. Nothing worked did it? The furry little rodents not only ate every last one of your black oil sunflowers seeds, but also taunted you with that irritating little chattering noise didn't they? Well my friends and fellow photographers, a man has a limit. At some point, enough is enough. In my case, I had no choice but to declare......SQUIRREL WARS!

The first step was to enlist my Labrador retriever and name him leader of the Black Dog Patrol. Naturally, I assumed the title of Camp Commander. No sooner had we become organized, than one of the hated Evil Doers infiltrated the perimeter. The Black Dog soldier immediately alerted and leaped into action. But our counter attack was too little, too late. The enemy simply retreated to the highest limb, sat, and waited, knowing his time would come. Instinct told him that, with patience, he would eventually reclaim his rightful place in his homeland, as had his ancestors before him.

It was painfully clear that new tactics and more troops were needed. The Camp Commander's gaze fell upon his wife's big yellow tomcat. Fast, agile, and with a killer instinct, perhaps this was the solution. He was immediately recruited. The al-Qaeda Cat, as he is commonly known for the considerable amount of terror he's inflicted on the local wildlife, seemed somewhat bewildered having been snatched from his near continuous nap on the sofa and placed directly onto the battlefront.

But instinct kicked in and the ferocious feline quickly grasped the concept. When the next thieving infidel appeared, Cat sunk low to the ground, really low. He twitched. He quivered. He charged. Again, the enemy retreated up the nearest tree but to his horror, the al Qaeda Cat, still in hot pursuit, went straight up the trunk with him. However, as the height of the chase increased, the al Qaeda Cat realized he had been completely outmaneuvered and was forced to make a most embarrassing and dishonorable retreat, backwards. The bushytailed burglar celebrates victory, again.

Half mad with frustration, I, the Camp Commander, was forced to resort to my weapon of mass destruction, the B-B gun. Impaired judgment? Yes. Temporary insanity? Probably. The plan, admittedly a bit drastic, was not to inflict any lethal damage mind you but merely to sting the butt of the little beast. And so, rifle at the ready, I dutifully began patrolling the grounds. Suddenly, sharp words rang out, "What in the world is going on out here?" It was Madam General! (Madam General was not supposed to return to camp till later that day). The Camp Commander mumbled a weak excuse but quickly realized that there would be no negotiations, no sitting down at any bargaining table. Unconditional surrender and disarmament took place immediately and without fanfare.

Spirit broken and heart heavy with defeat, the former Camp Commander returns to the barracks. There, he sullenly sits at his desk, calculating the cost of additional sunflower seeds.

Madam General, gazing out the window at all of Nature's creatures, simply smiles.

Editor's Comment: Let us know what you think! Please email the Editor to let us know your thoughts. Warren Williams has been doing photography for over 25 years focusing mainly on Nature and wildlife. His work has been published in several magazines, including Outdoor Photographer, Outdoor Oklahoma, Oklahoma Today, and Persimmon Hill (the magazine of the Cowboy Hall of Fame). Several of his photos have also appeared on calendars by Smith-Southwestern. Warren is an active member of PhotoMigrations and would also invite you to visit his website located at: Warren Williams Photography - Images of Wildlife and Nature.